Thursday, December 11, 2008

Picture post!
























































Officially...Homecoming day is...

MONDAY!! After her eye exam on Monday, (as long as it is good)...we get to pack up her stuff, put her in her carseat and walk out of the doors with her! To hear that car seat click into place in our car,and to know that she is in it, will be one of the sweetest sounds my ears will ever hear.

She is taking 50 cc's a feeding on average (which is about 2 ounces). As of today she weighs: Four pounds, thirteen ounces! Almost five pounds!!!!!!


We have a few classes we have to take before we can take her home. One is a class about the monitors she will be coming home on...she is at least coming home on an apnea monitor and on oxygen. The other class is infant CPR and choking. Then comes the BIG test....nesting. No, we don't have to build a nest or something silly like that, but we have to stay the night with her. It is a simulated "we are at home" test. They put us in a room for the night with her and she will be on all the monitors she will be on when we go home. They leave us alone for the night and let us fly solo. That way if something goes wrong in the night, or we push the wrong button we can be shown how to fix it and what to do. (BIG thank you to Danielle for watching Riley during these for us!!)

Hope this finds everyone happy, healthy and in love with life!

A Mama's Dilemma

So, I have been mulling over in my mind for the past three months on how Bree's homecoming will be. Of course, I would love for it be all smiles, hugs and kisses. Bree will come home and fit perfectly into our routine, and Riley will accept her with open arms and want to help all the time. As most of you who know me know, I think of every possible situation and I WAY overthink everything!!! This is true for her homecoming...the dilemma is this:

Riley is very much at the stage where I am the only one who can do things for her. This includes: snuggling and giving love (no one else will do, not even Daddy), play with her, read to her, and a few other things. Hence, the problem. When Bree comes home my time is going to be stretched even thinner than it is. It is going to hurt Riley's feelings that I cannot do everything with her anymore. This will result in fits and crying (I am sure of it!). Here's what breaks my heart: In order to take care of Bree properly, I am going to have to hurt Riley's feelings and cause her to feel neglected by me. Even thinking about this and writing about it brings tears to my eyes.

I am sure that every 'second time new mommy' deals with this problem, but it is exacerbated by the oxygen and apnea monitors she is coming home on. My heart aches and yearns for the day when Bree will be home and our family will finally be together all under one roof, but it also dreads the day I am going to have to look into Riley's sweet little eyes and tell her "No, Mommy can't give you love right now because I am doing something with Bree." She is not able to understand that and to see her little eyes tear up, and for her to cry is going to break my heart into a million pieces.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A "BUG"

So, there's this bug that is going around. No, not a ladybug or a bee...but more like an annoying fly that seems to land on you at the worst moment ever! Riley still seems to have 'the bug', which consists of throwing up, stomach cramps, horrible gas and diarrhea. Today was day three on her not eating much at all so tomorrow we may be taking a trip to the urgent care office if she is still not eating.

As if not one sick person is enough, Adam came home from work sick today. All my years of knowing Adam, (six years), he has only thrown up twice that I can recall. Once when he was trashed beyond belief, and the other when he had his wisdom teeth taken out. Today he has met that record. He threw up twice at work, and then once at home. He also has all the symptoms that Riley has, which has resulted in a lot of laundry between the two of them.

That is why it is unlikey that Bree will be coming home on Thursday. I refuse to have her come home to a house full of people with 'bugs'....because a little baby around that is bound to catch it. And we can't be having a little one with a bug...she'll end up right back in the hospital!

Let's all pray for the health and recovery of Riley and Adam...and for the protection of myself and Grandma against this "bug"...the last thing we need is four sick people.

Hope this finds everyone happy, healthy and in love with life!

Bree's news

On Monday, Bree had her eye exam....no change in her ROP. Which is a good thing, and a bad thing. On one hand, at least it is not worse. However, it is a bit discouraging. The doctor did say that he does sometimes see an improvement at this point, however the more average is that they see a response the second exam. If there is no change next Monday, we are going to have to consider a second surgery.

When I was feeding Bree on Monday, she had a coughing fit and then had rapid breathing afterward. The speech pathologist was worried about aspiration, so today she had a barium swallow test. It is kind of like 'x-ray in motion'. She got to sit in this special little chair, and I fed her a bottle of the barium while they watched her on the screen. It was so awesome to see her insides while she was swallowing. She passed her swallow test with flying colors!! No problems with her swallowing...the first little swallow she does she pushes a little of her "food" into her nose, but the doctor said that that won't cause any problems. She will figure out that it is unpleasant and will learn how to swallow correctly in time.

Bree could come home as early as Friday (which is unlikely...)or more realistically we are still looking at Monday-Tuesday ish...

Sunday, December 7, 2008

An unlikely first

As of lately, we have been talking about a lot of 'firsts'. Namely, Bree's firsts. Well tonight we experienced one of Riley's firsts. It was not one that most people remember or celebrate for that matter, but it is a first. It was Riley's bed time and we were letting her run around and play because she was still up for it. You know, to help wear her out just a little bit more. She started to come towards me...and then she lost it. Yeah, that's right...she threw up all over herself and the floor. Poor kiddo....she threw up about four more times that time. Mind you, this was the first time she has ever thrown up. :(

We let her rest on me (thankfully none on me!) and when she was settled down, we got her cleaned up, changed and ready for bed again. We made a bottle of 3/4 water and 1/4 juice to help to rehydrate her. No sooner than three minutes of laying her down in bed did Adam hear the tell tale noise....and I got to change her bed, and wipe it down with clorox wipes. Nana helped us out and got the laundry load started to wash everything all up.

This time, we let her rest for an hour before we tried laying down again...and so far so goood. She's been down for a half an hour and right after I get down writing this I am checking on her and headed to bed myself.

I hope my sweet little girl wakes up refreshed...and with a non-yucky tummy!

Hope this finds you happy, healthy, and in love with life!

The "Question"

Sooo...the question has been answered! Bree will be coming home next week! We were told it could be as early as Thursday this week, but more realistically we are looking at next Monday! We are a mixture of emotions...obviously, we are thrilled with her coming home, it's what we have been waiting for all along. We are even more excited that it is before her due date....most preemies don't come home at least until their due date. (hers was December 19th).

However, on the other hand, it is scary to think that they have had her hooked up to all these monitors, watching her heartrate and her breathing, and we are going to be sent home with none of that if she comes off of the oxygen. If she comes home on the oxygen, she will be sent home with an apnea monitor and an oximeter. It is kind of a double edged sword situation. One one hand, it will be a little harder if she comes home on oxygen because of the monitors, and the oxygen itself. But, if she manages to get off of it, she comes home with none of the monitors, which is easier to move her around...but trust me, I will get no sleep at all!

Tomorrow is Bree's eye exam...the first since her surgery. Let's pray that the doctor at least sees a little bit of a positive step forward for her ROP.